Bon Bon Voyage
Nancy Fairbanks

Excerpt

Carolyn-Chapter One

I picked up the telephone I'd brought out to the patio and speed-dialed Jason at the university. "You'll never guess what our wonderful children have given us for Mother's and Father's Day," I said, and went on to describe, with great enthusiasm, our virtually free vacation.

There was a moment of silence at Jason's end of the line, and then he said, "I can't go."

I was stunned. How could my husband even think of turning down such an opportunity? A free opportunity! Jason is so thrifty. Surely, he was teasing. "Of course you can," I retorted. "How could you not?"

"I have a meeting," he replied calmly.

"Well, surely you can skip one meeting, Jason." I fought down my disappointment with a dash of irritation. . .

"I really can't skip this conference. I'm an invited speaker, and I'm responsible for one of the tracks."

"I haven't heard anything about a meeting," I muttered.

"Well, it's in Canada, out in the middle of the plains. It didn't occur to me that you'd be interested since it's probably not a place famed for its gourmet food. There aren't even any activities for accompanying persons."

"And you'd rather go there than on a wonderful cruise? What are the meeting dates?"

Jason told me and remarked that although he'd be free after the meeting, we couldn't very well try to catch the cruise out in the Atlantic Ocean, which was probably where the ship would be, coming or going from the Canary Islands.

"Fine," I said. "I'll have to go by myself."

There was another silence. Then Jason said, "I wish you wouldn't, Carolyn. Some of those places are in North Africa. Given the tumult in the Muslim world, I'd be worried about you all the time you were gone."

"Well, I'll be worried that you might get run over by a tractor out there on the great plains of Canada. We'll both just have to hope for the best."

And that was the way it ended. Jason would not go, and he didn't want me to go by myself. He probably thought I'd stumble across another corpse, and he wouldn't be there to urge me to mind my own business. I was really very peeved with him.

Luz Vallejo-Chapter Two

. . ."Why would I want to go on a frigging cruise?" I finally interrupted. "My knees would freeze up from sitting too long on the airplane, I wouldn't know the languages anywhere we got off, I'd hate all the snobbish passengers, I don't have any evening gowns to wear to the gourmet dinners, which I wouldn't like anyway, and I'd probably get seasick and spend the whole time barfing on their fancy carpets."

Carolyn said, "Nonsense."

"It's not like El Paso's really a seafaring section of the country," I put in before she could tell me why my reasons for not going were nonsense. . . .

Carolyn snorted. "You won't drown, and it just so happens that I cut out an article about exercises one can do in an airplane seat that prevent frozen knees, not to mention those blood clots that scoot up to your brain or lungs and kill you."

"Blood clots?" That didn't sound good.

So that's how it went, and guess who ended up getting talked into taking a cruise? I had to agree. Otherwise, Carolyn would have gone on and on about the history of the Canary Islands. My only consolation was that it would be my first and last cruise. And it wasn't going to cost me much. . . .But my mom wasn't going to be happy when I missed Mother's Day because I was thousands of miles away, wandering around some country with a bunch of Arabs in it.

Carolyn-Chapter Three

I took a big gulp of wine, but it didn't help, so I dropped my head into my hands and wondered what I was going to do. Luz had already agreed to the trip. "Don't you think you should have told me before you invited [your mother] on my Mother's Day cruise?"

"It didn't occur to me that you'd object," said Jason stiffly. "I thought you'd appreciate the company, and after all, she has had health problems. A cruise will be just the thing for her. Her doctor agreed. She can take walks around the decks and that sort of thing. She hates the gym so much, she quit."

So if I continued to object, I would be endangering Vera's health? That's what my husband was saying? And what about Luz? I really wanted to take the cruise with Luz. If the other passengers were snobbish, Luz would be the perfect antidote. And her reaction to cruise luxury and entertainment would be a source of entertainment in itself. Whereas Vera would probably try to talk the female crew into going on strike or wonder loudly why cruise captains were never women and organize a gender-discrimination campaign against the cruise line. . .

"If you don't want to take her with you, you'll have to call and tell her yourself," said Jason, looking grim as he forked creamy, oniony potatoes au gratin from the crispy potato skin I'd put on his plate.

Wasn't that just like a man? He got me into an embarrassing, hopeless situation and then refused to accept responsibility for his actions. And what was I to do? Refuse to take his mother along because of my invitation to Luz, whom he didn't even like? Choose one of my prospective roommates to disinvite? That's obviously what I had to do.

Or did I?